Dallas

I'm in the Business Link room at the Embassy Suites Market in Dallas, TX. This will be my fourth night and I am so ready to go home. Staying in a posh place isn't any fun when you're all by yourself. Tonight the others ladies and I sat together during happy hour and talked and that was nice. Two are from El Paso, which is farther away from Dallas than Ethel, one from Houston, and the last from Bossier City, LA. We are all very different and it seems to be a nice mix. Teresa Mendoza and Darla Sharp are my favorites. Teresa is someone I feel like I've know all my life and is my sister in the Lord. Darla reminds me of Cyndy Long: all the good things.

It's strange having a meal allowance to pay for all of my meals. I didn't buy any supper tonight (there were gold fish at happy hour) because I wasn't hungry and I wanted to save the money because I get to keep what I don't spend. I've been to Pappa Doe's to eat seafood, ate my first Whataburger, and enjoyed the food in the Twin Towers cafe.

The class time is not hard, but I get so tired sitting at the desk for so many hours. Our teacher is very sweet and very feminine. She homeschooled all five of her children through sixth grade and have two left in college. I like her. I've learned a lot about the computers and look forward to getting better. Everybody says that I should do great at this job and tease me about all my new experiences. They have been good.

I started the third book in Calvin Millers trilogy last night. After The Singer and The Song, The Finale hasn't started out as well (at least the first 50 pages.) If I go up and pack now maybe I could read some more tonight.

After signing what seemed like endless papers and filling out too many forms, having things Fedexed back by the nazi-forms police ( my oath of office affidavit had 1/9/08 and the seal was in the wrong place, my middle name was written with my first name, and I forgot to sign at the bottom of page five of a six page form) and then Fedexing them back to her, receiving two large boxes filled with books, cd's, and then a laptop, I am ready to start learning about doing surveys. Today was Daneille Temple's wedding shower (the wedding is March 7, to Drake Hatfield of Louisville, KY), which was nice. Yet, as is typical, I have to finished her picnic quilt. Only the binding being made, sew on the then hand stitched is left, but that's enough. So much to say, that I will begin my work on the self study portion of my new job Monday. Gotta finish that quilt first.

The fear of being a failure is still real. Every time I tell someone it's in Holmes County, I get,"be careful," or "Oh no, not Holmes county, you be careful." That's not very encouraging. It happen both time I went to be finger printed by the police officers, too. Yes, I had to go twice. The instructions didn't say get two copies, although there were two forms. I thought (that's the problem!) maybe they sent one in case of a mess up. The first police officer did also.

Now it's January 19, and I received another Fedex to me on the outside, but to someone else who will be there in Dallas on the 26. I guess she or someone else got mine letters about hotel reservations and flight arrangements. With as many people that they have to deal with it would be easy to mess up.

I started me home training today: reading, watching videos, and starting my Dell laptop for the first time. It was nice having KP there to hold my hand and show me short cuts with the different keys. I hope I can remember all the neat tricks he taught me. Tomorrow I begin in earnest.

Jobs

I got offered a job yesterday and it was very exciting to think someone wanted me to work for them. Then the questions about the details of benefits, etc, caused some hesitation, and today I accepted. The United States government is Fedexing me a packet of forms to fill out and will be sending a laptop with about 22 hours of self study before the trip to Dallas January 26. When I get back home I'll spend two or three days in the field being trained doing surveys about income and programs that will be used to figure out the consumer price index. The territory is all of Holmes County, but mostly Lexington, the county seat. That's about a 45 minute drive one way.

Usually when ever I/we make any big decision I second guess it after the commitment is made, and this is no different. Can I do it, will I mind going out in all kinds of weather, what if Keith gets a job, what if I don't feel like talking to people, what if I get lost, will I ever be afraid, etc.? Maybe we all feel this way and sometimes don't even admit it to ourselves. I have often said,"I gotta act like a grown-up." Well this is it.